Each house has its cross to bear. The result is that a family that apparently seems to do well also appears to have several problems, charges or impurities to bear. This is also the case in the family described below. A family that continued to keep up appearances to the outside world well after the death of both parents.
The marriage of these parents is an arranged marriage in which family five children are born. It is a family who had the dear wish to do whatever to keep up appearances. An appearance many observed and made ridiculous. It resulted in a negative relationship with the outside world. Someone who sheds light on the keeping up appearances will get the blame (the messenger is blamed instead of the causer). The mask falls and the apparent energy of individuals is decreasing because that energy was never theirs. In fact, they do what they say one should not, as all religious persons do, since during many centuries they have been taught this under pressure. Keeping up appearances belongs to those who willfully are seeing blind or hearing deaf for the facts. They are living dead persons while in a body.
As is usual in a religious family, one after another child was born. What to do with these kids, or how to guide them to adulthood, was not addressed. The only thing that mattered was the pressure from church, which required the toll of obedience to the requirements of this institution. After three children these parents, so they were already in love, drifted apart. For several days a week this family had a housekeeper to enable the mother to pursue her hobbies like playing tennis, playing bridge and cooking. The food, however, was biased and not always healthy. Together with the psychological pressure this made her children and husband sick or weakened them.
Yet a fourth child was born. The child was not a child of both parents. The mother had responded to the coercion of another man and as a result of that action this child was born. This child had a minor deviation because she squinted. The father in this family had to recognize this child to the outside world, but his heart could not longer be with his wife or this child.
However, when finally another child of his own came, he cherished this child. This child was for him a wanted child. The mother, however, hated this youngest already when she wore it in her belly. After giving birth to this child, she gave it just the necessary attention. She downtrodden, maligned, misguided, ignored, suppressed and deceived this child. This happened because once she herself was raped and she held this child responsible. The child did not grow with love and attention of both parents. As the years passed, the youngest became increasingly a favorite of her father because she understood him very well. Her mother was very jealous because she got less attention from her husband. She give rein to her passion of jealousy by denying her youngest any love or attention. To the outside world, everything seemed amiss, but at home the atmosphere was sometimes hard to bear.
At one point, one daughter met an accident and had a fractured skull. Her mother always deprived this daughter her own space to live in freedom and individuality. Since the mother had not learned to cope with adversity, she pressed her body over her daughter’s face and smothered her, although doctors and nurses had instructed her not to touch the body. When she heard steps, she became afraid because of this action and tried by violently shaking her daughter to reach her again. This violent shaking and touch, made her daughter’s body reacting violently to these actions of her mother. It was too much for her physical body and she died. In fact the mother had contributed to the death of her own daughter.
This made the rupture between the father and mother even wider and the mother had everyone believing that her husband had caused this rupture. She therefore started to pamper the child of that other man even more. Her brother who was a psychiatrist, confronted her with this sickly and symbiotic behavior, but she refused to listen. This child felt less worthy, because it was in essence aware that she was an illegitimate child, but for the outside world it was reflected that is was because of her squinting eyes, her diminished desire to learn and that her father by that imperfection loved her less. Her mother kept her away from any pressure or reflection of the outside world. Thus the youngest was often the blame for her sister’s behavior or had to do her homework. By this inferiority complex and this raising of her mother, this fourth child started to tell many lies about her father. Some of the lies were about that he was ill or even dead. She started to steal because of her mother’s influence. This fourth child was only the willing executor of her mother. Because the family wanted to keep up appearances, she was sent to boarding school. However, her behavior continued and the nuns sent her back home. The parents were looking for another solution for this daughter in another place for the lasting duration of her schooling. Next she went on living by herself.
Six years after the accident and the death of one daughter, the youngest met a similar accident. It happened because she was forced to take over the role of her dead sister and it went as far as that she met a similar accident. She could barely get the necessary surgery. For several days she lay unconscious in a separate room. She had a boyfriend at the other side of the country. Her mother was jealous about male/female relationships. Since this was her chance (alone in a room with an unconscious daughter) she went to investigate and examined her daughter’s vagina to see if she was still virgin. She also shook violently this daughter and as a result even to this day this daughter experiences difficulty in remembering names and figures. After two weeks she went home to recover and after only a few months she left home to live all by herself, with her father’s permission, as he noticed she was no longer happy at home. Her mother had informed her that the wrong daughter had died.
The father and mother were at about the same time moving due to pension. Because of the hypocrisy of the mother and her continued opposition to her husband, he became even more ill due to these psychological pressures. He tried to relieve his wife by willing to buy good stuff for the new house and the household but she refused it. He wanted to relieve her daily by eating outdoors, but she refused it. She did not made it easy for him to live with. Partly because of this, he liked to be with his youngest who at least understood him and had a good taste. She had just as he and the deceased daughter, the commitment in this life to learn from Life. He had purified many issues in his life and transformed into wealth (inwardly enriched himself). He had a great sense of equality, despite age or origin of the other person. He had a warm heart. He showed the love from his being, not from his physical body (sex). When he finally died it was therefore this daughter who found him dead and proved the last respects by closing his eyes. During the funeral, she knew that her father had come true with most of his commitments in this lifetime and therefore was able to be present in church and watched from above his own funeral. He had died consciously. This experience the daughter could share with her mother, because her mother had a likewise experience during church service.
The mother, now living all by herself, started even more outdoor activities where she forced her help and presence on to others. Often undesirable help and presence because she was still not mature but reacted childish. She was nevertheless tolerated. If this attitude could not be exercised, she tried this attitude on to her children or nephews or nieces or persons from her neighborhood who had experienced something unpleasant. If you were pathetic in her eyes, you were strangled in her devote love (love from the head not from the heart). Your own life was taken from you; it had to be by her rules. Through her actions, she escaped each inner reflection. She dared not and resisted even to look in the mirror. The result was that her Essence became less powerful and other entities started to possess her even more.
When the youngest divorced, the veil of self-deception pierced. The hypocrisy of the family was dishonored in her eyes. Without mentioning it, she disinherited her daughter. She chuckled about the disinheritance behind her daughters back, together with her other children. She unsolicited and unwanted involved into her daughters household and the raising of her daughters children. This daughter got less money, where her brothers and sisters got two or three fold of their mother. She instigate others against her daughter (ex-husband, brother, sister, family, children and friends). The relationship of this daughter with her own children was deliberately denied by the family. The mother put a spoke in the wheel of her daughter’s own family and exacerbated the situation in her daughter’s life. When this mother was unable to do so, she managed to carry it out by means of her other daughter or the ex-husband. The family of her youngest daughter was therefore highly disturbed, because the parent was not supported, but played out. The family even started to play off the children against their mother. Eventually this resulted in very negative behavior of her grandchildren, especially when her youngest daughter met a new partner. Eventually this daughter had to let go of her kids to allow them to get the necessary upbringing elsewhere. The father was not willing to raise his children. This youngest was no more able to do so. She had done everything she could, but was no match against the terror of the family.
The family continued and cherished the keeping up appearances of the family where they originally emanate from. They went to church, showed extremely devout behavior and prayed much for others. These brother and sister of this youngest and their children are still naïf and belief in the fairy tale this mother showed them. The youngest daughter however, learned a lot about the family from uncles and aunts. Also her professional education gave her insight in this family facade, this deception. Also a friend of her deceased sister, who had worked as senior psychologist at the Mental Health Organization, gave her insight into this pathologic family.
The mother of this family glorified herself with her devout behavior. However, she did not realized she exceeded more than ten years her lifetime as she refused to cross over. On the other hand, she had all kinds of persons around her including her beloved children, who exerted influence on her to keep her in her body so they she could continue to use her energy. Eventually this mother was pressed out of her physical body and died. In all these years she would not accepted the outstretched hand of her youngest daughter to learn from Life. Also she did not wanted to tell her daughter about her socialization in order to enlighten things of her past. The eldest sister of the youngest forbade her even to contact this mother on such issues. The Akasha Chronicles however provide a solution. Meanwhile the father had to wait for his wife to die before he could incarnate again. When this mother finally died at old age, the youngest had for many years left the family as she no longer desired to take part in this story. When this mother died the body showed an unrecognizable shell, nothing more than an ugly bag that showed the exact reflection of who she really was.
The latest façade was that this mother was buried in a white coffin and that many present at the funeral did not noticed this keeping up appearances. This mother did not went to heaven, while the father who was maligned by this family, had gone to heaven. This mother went into a deep layer of hell, because she had refused the many opportunities she got to learn from Life. In the middle of the night this was clearly shown to her youngest daughter. To this day the brother and sisters play off the children of the youngest daughter against their mother and keep up appearances as this is their way of surviving while in fact it is not living. They are still black/white thinkers. The children of the youngest daughter of this family still suffer considerably by this family secret and their façade.
The youngest, who had to bear this family cross, has exposed this façade by her bravery, courage and cœur (heart). She has because of that, internalized her life lessons and became wise. Next to cognitive knowledge she has gained a wealth of inner knowledge, because she also understands the paradoxes of life. Her son shows his family that he despite their laughter, he choose for himself and is able to act on his own and is happy. He walks his own path that is a gift for his mother. Her daughter started to assert herself and lives her own life. By enduring the pain and the discomfort this youngest became a Light worker who recognizes and acknowledges many others and assist them in their life lessons. Many are happy to have met her, because she is capable of finishing the terrestrial life cycle and interpret their life cycle. Her family still maligns her just as they did to their father as they do not understand Life.
Epilogue
Bert Hellinger – Family Constellations – says the following: It requires a great discipline to pull yourself out of systemic entanglements and detach from all that should be terminated. If the current system needs a scapegoat it means the previous generation had a scapegoat and it can be useful to look for that person. When a legitimate member is excluded it is usually someone who has gone through great suffering or is the victim of another injustice. Often someone from a later generation has to pay for the injustice by suffering from a similar injustice. The person recruited for this task is not choosing this destiny and cannot defend himself. They experience this destiny again and recreate the experience of the excluded person, complete with the guilt, innocence and all other feelings that belong to that experience. What is suppressed in a family, tends to take possession of those who can least defend themselves. In a family that the children and grandchildren. To this identification comes an end when the person who repeats the destiny of a former person realizes where the problem lies.
