It all starts with knowing who you are and what it is you lack. In you upraising you needed things you could not get. Now that you know what you lack you have to learn to give this to yourself. As your parents could not transfer it to you as they had not yet balanced it. Now you can let go of the Oedipus complex, wrong identifications and can start to balance these female and male emotions and attitudes.
To do so you have to step out your comfort zone and accept who the other is. It means you have to stand next to this person to see and experience what he or she senses. Now you are able to understand the others position and you can show the other yours. As when you both now each other’s experience and goal you can start to balance it. This does not mean one of you has to give in. Both of you need to gain and it should be a win-win situation as explained by Thomas Gordon or the Harvard Style of negotiation that was developed by the Harvard University.
For this you need both to listen actively. Active listening means you sit in front of each other without an interfering object such as a table. You have an open body posture, make eye contact and tempt to listen to all expressions of the other. You try to capture the reason and you even try to capture the message behind these expressions or words. You reflect the other and try to find out if you have understood the message.
Perhaps some emotions are involved. Emotions have been suppressed for ages by the paternalistic system. Now they have cumulated to such extremes that they cannot be uttered other than with force. Both man and woman have different ways to express emotions. The more they are allowed to show emotions the more these expressions are the same. We can only reacted in a balanced way as both negative and positive emotions or expressions are allowed. The reality is the combination of both and not the suppression of one of them.
To balance ourselves we need validation, appraisal and support on all actions that are an attempt to balance and we need positive feedback. This is an act of forgiveness and it allows us to improve who we are instead of gaining stigmata from the projections of others that nail us on the crucifix whenever we make a mistake. That is the greatest pitfall we meet in our lives; this repeating and suppressing vicious circle. Only by the act of understanding the female concept of the “wo-man” that both man and woman need to embrace we can step out of these vicious circles whenever a crossroad turns up in time.
Currently, due to the oppressive influence of paternalism and the Super Ego it is not possible to deal with this reality as described here. Many things at work and in court are therefore incorrectly assessed and handled. Lady Justice is well depicted with a blindfold and scales. Only modern man no longer knows what it means or how it works in practice. They just execute rules. Rules that are made by the paternalism and the Super Ego within mankind.
